Trash
I have asked you repetitively
I have asked you indubitably
I have asked you Nicely
I have asked you kindly
Do you want to be with me?
Do you want to be happy?
I feel as if I’m not what you want
I feel I’m not the one you sought
I did all I could
I did as I would
I showed you serenity
You were happy
I just feel, you don’t want to be
You don’t want to see
You don’t want to lose
It’s all up to you
I want to be
I want you to see
I want you to be happy
I want you with me
If I can’t make you believe
Then I guess its time for me to leave
I will survive with all I can
I just don’t want this again.Patience
From all we have done
I have loved it all
With the deepest sincerity that we hone
Going on by all that we’ve known
I have grown weary and sad
When I have to let you go
Benevolence resides within you
When not with you
I feel destitute
I feel destitute
Your gentle presence
Has brought me
Significance
And harmonious virtue
All of this resides within you
Those times we have shared
When we held each other close
We would kiss and boast
Wrapped under the covers
Uniting as One, from another
Looking into your eyes
It would make cry
Knowing that I’m not part of you
But have enjoyed this restitute
You have shown me
That I can be happy
I know I’m having to wait
But I shall not think of distaste
I know you love two
But I hope soon
That you and I
Can be joined as one
And forever true
Arrival
As night forms its way
As night forms its way
I hold you close to me as we lay
I kiss your supple body
Could there be a more precious commodity?
Looking into your dreams
I can know I’m your everything
I never want to lose this entity
That means oh so much to me
The consequences would be quite dire
Fore if I were to lose you
I would walk the face of this earth
Wanting to expire
You’re my glorious princess
As we drift to sleep
I give you that last kiss
Submersed in the reality we find ourselves
Dodging barricades and eluding dead ends
The dream entices the fact of phantasmagorality
We hold on for one last night
Before I have to leave and disappear from sight
But baby I want you to know
Im coming back for you once I’m done
You’re what we became in the long run
Those times I never want to let go
I will promise my arrival soon
I want to see and hold you
Kiss the supple body, once more
I’m coming home soon
I can’t stand to bear the fact of not being with you
With all these things I have said
We shall rest one more time in our bed
Kissing you goodnight
As it forms
Sweety you’re my everything
I want to hold you
Look into those eyes
And kiss you tight
Patience And Virtue
Hold me close to your love
Hold me away from all this hell that has come
Lye me down, next to your body
Hold me close n don’t let go of me
Cover me away from all the fear
Knowing all this, I know you’re here
Kiss me good night
Stand the good fight
Cry with me
As I cry with thee
Jealous and insociable
Loving and bountiful
Tuck me in to my bed
Hold me close to the end
Never let me wither away
Free me from all this decay
I have endured the hell of love
Soon I will be taken by above
But for this last time
Kiss me good night
Stand the good fight
Cry with me
As I cry with thee
Jealous and insociable
Loving and bountiful
Remember those times we shared?
Oh sweety how much I do care
I just wish there was a way a way for me to say
How I love you each and every day
I want you with me
I don’t want to leave
It’s your choice for me to be with you
And there’s nothing more that I want to do
I found happiness I found all this
But my sweet, I want this hell to end
I don’t want this happening
Again and again
So my dear
Kiss me good night
Stand the good fight
Cry with me
As I cry with thee
Jealous and insociable
Loving and bountiful
I will wait for as long as I can
But please my dear
Make this entire pain end
iF
If I had nothing to give
Would you still love me?
If I couldn’t surprise you anymore
Would you love me and adore?
If our lives were meant to be
Do you think you would want
To spend it with me?
Secluded away from the dream
Do you see us happy?
Torn away from existence
Could you rebuild a life?
As our song comes to an end
Do you feel this time you have to pretend?
Tell me how you feel
Its a deal or no deal
As I let you go,
Each and every night
I just want you to remember
If I had nothing to give
Would you still love me?
If I couldn’t surprise you anymore
Would you love me and adore?
If our lives were meant to be
Do you think you would want
To spend it with me?
I will love you and love you
I shall with all my might
The night grows cold and dim
But when I’m with you
I’m reborn again
If I had nothing to give
Would you still love me
If I had you
I know I would make love
That everything I do
DreamS
.....i can pursue through life....and carry out my life long dreams.... and proceed through life......but yet......yet their is something pulling on me......taking me back to where i don't want to be...... i try and look for an answer, or something that will show me what this friend is.....as i think i come across all these obstacles and barriers that i avoided to get my self to this place that i am today.......then i rethink over all my days and what happened then i realize i know what this thing is hanging on the rope pulling me back.....why yes it is love......the thing i have not been introduced to yet.......a emotion i may never feel and if i do i would not know it, for i have never felt it......so that was what was pulling me back and hurting me.....others do love me...but yet i may be being lied to by a few....love and life do mix but not properly....everyday i see and hear more people talking about this...at times i jus want to hurt them so they can feel the same kind of pain i feel i want them to know what it feels like........other times i jus cry as i walk by...at time i don't to see this....but yet im sorry if i have brought any fear or anything to you.. ..this is jus how i feel this is my everyday ordeal i try to block it out of my memory but it glides through the barricades and gets right in front of my face mocking me...hurting me......building up rage and hate inside....i try and try to get out of the way but it comes at me...this is my next demise.......Par a n o i a
PARANOIA RUNNING THROUGH MY MIND, HARDENED THOUGHTS OF HAPPINESS TRANSPIRE IN MY SELF, MY LIFE IS ACTUALLY SOMETHING, MY TEMPER AND THOUGHTS ARE ON A SHORT STRING SET TO EXPLODE MY THOUGHTS OF WHO I AM ARE FADING AWAY THEY ARE LOST IN THIS NEW PERSON THAT I AM THIS NEW ONE OF WHO I AM, I HATE THIS, BEING WHO I AM, HAVING OT HAVE ALL THESE PROBLEMS, A SPONGE, SOAKING UP SO MUCH AND PUSHING OUT THE THINGS THAT MATTER LEAVING THE NEGATIVITY IN ME…KEEPING MY SELF THE ONE I DESIST……COUNSELING MAY HELP BUT ITS MY FUCKIN STUPIDITY THAT UPSETS ME…I CAN ONLY GO SO FAR THEN I ALMOST REACH THE BREAKING POINT……THEN ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE, MY PERSON THAT I USED TO BE IS NOW DYING AND HERE THIS NEW BEING IS LAUGHING AT ALL THE OBSTACLES THROWING ALL THE HAPPINESS AT THESE OBSTACLES MAKING ME HURT AND CRY WANTING SOMETHING YET NOT KNOWING WHAT IT COULD BE……I CAN ONLY GO SO FAR BUT GUESS WHAT I ALWAYS GO FURTHER THEN IM ALLOWED I HAVE CLINICAL DEPRESSION…I MAY NOT SHOW IT CAUSE YOU DON’T KNOW ME THAT WELL…BUT INSIDE IM LOST AND SCARED, SCARED OF WHAT MIGHT HAPPEN IF I GO SO FAR… I KNOW WHAT MIGHT HAPPEN…ILL BE DRAINING MY DAD’S WALLET AND PUT OUR FAMILY MORE IN DEBT SEE IM A FUCK UP….IM THE REASON WE’LL BE POOR….IM THE FUCK UP WHO LET IT ALL BE MY FAULT…I WENT SO FAR THEN I PASSED THE BREAKING POINT RIGHT NOW IM AT THE END….ALMOST CLOSE TO DEATH, BUT YET SADDENED THOUGHTS FILL MY HEAD…IM THE FUCK UP…ILL BE TAKEN AWAY BY SOCIAL SERVICES IF I GO SO FAR I HAVE LAID DOWN 2 RED FLAGS SO FAR…ONE MORE AND IM GONE…..IM SCARED…..I WANT SOMETHING OR SOMEONE…BUT I DON’T KNOW WHY…..AngeL
An angel sent by no one…to help me through all the rough occurrences that have had to deal with, but yet when I felt sad or dispirited…she helped me through the hardship and foolish ways that have grown to and adapted my new life to. The ways and paths were very long and very treacherous, but yet this one person showed me, helped me get through this animosity…help me break out of the ordinary and smell the life all around me...her ways and teachings were very easy to comprehend, but yet at times when she wasn’t there…I did what all I could to make it through the next day…my life may be in dismay and a lost child hood of disarray …but yet I’m glad that she found me by mistake….my life now makes sense to me…she even taught me how to think for myself and when you screw up that its not the end of the world….like I had always thought…..i may be good at a few things….trading other old things that I used to posses for new things that systematically make up and construct what’s left of my life…she is here for me…she has made it for me to see…made it for me to be better then anything….thank you.
DesperATE
I've been waiting for someone to come along and make my life better.... .hold me when im sad and tell me that everything is going to be alight... im shaking here holding on to all i got but yet it spits me out and in this array of sadness hurts me more....oh how i need a girl to hold me tight and tell me everything will be alright.....im alone sitting here with no one......only the chaotic wreck in my mind which tortures me... makes me believe the darkness and sadness is right behind me....... im crying...wanting a girl to hug me and kiss me....prank phone calls... of disbelief...and the one thing i want is to have the one girl with me..... im crying in this room that confines me from the very day and night...... alone and scared im wondering around tryin to find something to hold on to.... looking around in the sadness tryin to scrape away and see the happiness... which is somewhere but not here....doing all i can to get through the next day..... wanting a girl in my life....im alone....seeing my life right now.... numb and chaotic....searching around blindly and doing what there is left in my life...... the inevitable may happen at any time and i will be the curse that i am....... searching...im searching....looking around..........lost......phone call after phone call waiting........waiting for that one time the girl i want will actually talk to me..........but it will never be....im a hideous wreck a lost soul crying for nothing.......lost growing desperate of the one that will hug me hold me in their arms....be there when im sad...........this may be a time but its way way...way......MiSTAKE
To follow through with something and screw up. Having someone know about an important day and be oblivious to all thats going on. To feel as if the end of the world is being set forth, just because you screwed up. Feeling life differently, attempting to try to be someone they're not. To try to feel not to care. This is a mistake also. This is not the right way to feel, but yet I can't help it. When i screw up; I have screwed up so many times, but yet every time I do screw up NOTHING can make me free, can direct me to be happy once again. To be lost and in search of nothing, to gaze into space, trying to escape this occurency that is part of me. To feel not to be part of anything anymore. To try to escape life and learn to not care. Lost in an array of depression and tortured thoughts. Seeing life escape my grasp and fall away from me. Mistake a lost omen that has arisen again. A road map to malicious thoughts and melancholy. Fear of the inevitable always plagues my mind with these thoughts. Scared to even admit that it was my fault, to lie about something I did. Mistake a road that I know much well, but desist to take the map with me. A mistake, a flaw that is part of me, lost darkness, inevitable ends.TraGEDy
Tragedy, a word that has arisen so much in my family, yet even in my life. To lose a loved one due to something fatal. To know they will never come back, the symptoms are always fatal. Tragedy has been in this so called generation and has effected the lives of the many and kept a few aside. Families losing a speical someone, a daughter, a son, parent, etc. Many insignificant lives have been brought to the brink of destruction, but yet a few have at least backed away. In the end having to live with depression. Lost souls losing a loved one, even if they are dead. The classifications do also rely on the dead. A few of the people may have a whole family tree burned and left for dead, while the family tree is burnt to ash. Ashes falling on the ground, only one of the family is left, the one that may make a new generation or be lost, or they will suffocate from the intoxication of the ash dust. A tragedy has been broughten to them, to leave the one they left behind. To try to live a life of sorrow and pain. These are a few of the many, a generation lost and created in a malicious wreck of a burning inferno. This is what many have experienced theoretically Tragedy the devil in disguise, trying to take another soul, trying to make them meet their demise.LifE
Life a thing to me, a melancholy of obscenities of burnt happiness, twisted lives, and crooked laughs. Life a demon that may kill the many or spare the few. This may all be theoretically a review, but yet I classify life as the lost child of mother earth. The lurking of life can take people, but yet suffer many consequences. The lives maybe taken, but yet the "life" of the people will be lost. Life an array of ups and downs, terrifying journeys, life a saddened star left to be fed on, to be battered and tortured. Life this may be the one thats been broughten to you, but yet others try to escape the heart break and loneliness of the occurrences that have come forth. Life a bitter fruit in disguise of a rich and luscious fruit. Poisonous outside covered up to resemble happiness. The inner core a nothingness array of hatred. Once taken off this tree and bitten, a new "life" has a risen one that may bring the world to an end or it may stay put and trapped, just trying to breathe. Life has its ups and downs usually once you get stuck there's no way out. This is not all true, but yet I have experienced this virtue, and would allow myself not to have this "life".TRICK
a trick...revenge on these mother fucker fuckin up their lives...makin it worse to be them...hurting all the people they care about...not giving a shit on what the outcome is not to care that ....these motherfuckers had to pay for messing with you fucking up your brain, making you hate yourself for no fuckin reason.....to make you want to kill anything... driving you to the state of rage to kill and destroy...maim their lives.....destroy whats their's payback....ah yes these mother fuckers are going to pay for what they did.....for how they made me act.....these dipshits are going to wish they never even met me.......fuck this i don't have to listen to them i don't have to be like them but yet...i am......A BOMB I Nation
flames engulfing house hold and residents, people all crying praying for something so everyone stops dying..... bloody knuckles, calloused hands pressed together..... wishing everyone could become better..... horrific screams, of another fiend..... children running trying to be free...... gun shots fill the air carbon monoxide everywhere..... everyone....... EVERYONE fighting over....stupidity... hate numbs their nerves......takes control of their instinct ....makes them forget to think to burn all thats left standing..... to take anything and care not... rioting acts of malicious rage plagues the nation takes everyone and leaves no one is devastation these fuckers...all these fuckers knew it was going to happen.... they didn't know how to defend.... they felt rage hurt their familes.... they took it out on anything.... look at what this nation has grown to submerging to look what has happened when we fucked up and had no idea on what to do this is our nation....this is U.S. happiness may come again but whats left? whats there to gain by destroying all that we had to gain.... here stands the threshold of a new corrupt society.... this is you this is me.....
Wonder
What is this new presence within me? What is this new miraculous light I notice before me? What is this illuminate glow? Is it happiness? Yes it is, happiness eh? An elixir renews my soul, burns away tarnished hate, and breaks through to show praise. Stand up to all my fears, let them hit me with their power, I’ll throw them back down, diminishing them. I have my angel, happiness will resonate within. How her praise illuminates my darkened soul. How my angel can cast away pain, and reassure myself of love. I can finally see past treachery and melancholy. With my angel at my side, the dark morbid Stygian seem to come into view, which could have been me, but the seductive elixir of my angel’s love washes away the madness and self-virtue. This melodic angel is so miraculous, no name for such an angel as her. Myself portrayed in the mirror, not depressed with scourged dreams, and never ending pain. Seductive power this elixir embezzles within, the light, passionate. My soul glowing and not decommissioned, happiness eh? This feeling I wish forever to resonate within my soul, my fingers warm with happiness not cut with fear and not frozen by acceptance. My face glowing of serenity, not burning of melancholy, gift cannot be bought with bribes or inhaled with grief. This presence finally beckoned me. No more confusion, lies, and anti-socialism, my angel next to me at my side, the praise ever richer. The times I hold her, I see how her face lightens up becomes somewhat lost within happiness, but reassured by the presence of me. Her illuminate eyes, this angel helps me through this wonder, this happiness is my angel, cannot be bought or bribed, happiness is finally within.RefleCT[ion]
my face is torn off worn away yet depressions glides through the rest of my body as if im controlled by hate and kill all that stand in my way to redeem my self and set forth a new goal and not have it be demolished by hate and greed....to try and set my self free from all that has been built up inside me and yet this will never be.....the reflection of my worn off smile slips into a state and laughs at me rhetoric questions fill my mind falling down from the harsh pain throbbing in my head....my hands bleeding dying away......my eyes cold harsh.......unknown....my face burnt with fear sadness imprinted in my face greed slipping into my mind...killing.....the harsh sounds of the people laughing at me telling me i will never be.....this is the end this is the end this is when ill come back and get you motherfuckers and hope you never met a lost fallen soul such as me....slithering into my mind a being pointing tell me to follow what it commands......i destroy this rabid beast and set forth on my mission.....the knife in my hand the seringe in my arm.....the bullet holes in my chest the burns of lies creeping down and burrowing in me.....the face of revenge smiles at me in the mirror....the recklessness is forming around me........the psychopathic daze daze.......the fear of running away.....fire in my eyes....hate in my heart.........suicidal thoughts plague my mind.......jus to see nothing behind these impure needs.......the mirror how it laughs at me......the sudden harsh sound of glass breaking into the ground as i destroy the mirror........glass shards in my hands....pieces burrowing in me blood seeps through the wounds and hardens........hatered on my face.......chaotic smile......black image.......jesturing laugh......ice picker in my hand........glass shards falling to the ground........peace seizes to exist......happiness is erased from my memory.......fire dancing around me.....people laughing at me.........i raise the axe to end all the annoiance.....turn around to see everything being erased.......being erased from my memory........i wake up to see myself in the mirror.......how could someone such as me be filled with such thoughts of this?.......as i turn..... my reflection laughs at me and smiles develishly behind me i turn around to see myself...sadness in my eyes......cold face......fingers trembling......this is my reflection that casts back to me.........Cares
i don't care if im depressing myself this is whats all built inside me trying to escape from thee but yet i try to send a message so the people who are not yet like me will never have to be im sorry im sorry for everything i think i should jus never talk to anyone and hide all my feelings and pursue with my dreams if i do the pain will be so unmerciful that once false move could send me far into a state at which i cannot break free this is what i have brought to me im sorry im sorry im sorry this is my cares, my dreams, my thoughts im watching the time drift by seeing a face of the unknown only to be frightened by all thats in me the potential to kill to take this pill that will make me ill but yet take me away from all of you and leave here and never be this is me this is me slowly drifting away ...finding a love that will never be.....FOR-SAKEn
Love will it ever be for me? love with this be the end of me? Love love love love? this is how life has treated me? online relationships...a game a false foretelling love? whats the point? when you're despised by all but accepted by a few is this what i have been sent and have to do? love may be for a few but for me it will never be i can not live a false life, this is not true im lying to myself and killing my insides having thought of what is there only to find that im not that, one that, one person, that one "kind" if this is the way i have to live then i choose to seek a new way but yet the path and everything is starting to decay from my memory how will I ever get back? how will i be able to find my self again? this is the end this is the last but yet im not going to give up i will strive and hold my grasp a lie is not the way to live a life if you want to live a live and be told you're loved then so be it? i don't know anymore how i could have been so disobedient but yet im sorry for all i have lied to and i don't know what to do this is the way, this is my way, this is the only way that i know im sorry my forsaken mind has yet one thought how could i had been so stupid to you and myself? this is all i know........sorryBe[lie]f
the forgotten sadness comes again¡¦. The horrifying cries plague your mind The unforgettable tragedies hurt you more¡¦¡¦the beloved child that you once were¡¦¡¦.the happiness¡¦has been abolished the life the meanings are all gone from you they¡¯re never coming back¡¦.this may be what you have to live with this may be the way you have to be¡¦¡¦.who would want to live like this who would want to be?...i know I wouldn¡¯t I don¡¯t like to see the people have to put up with this have to have all this brought to them¡¦..who would want to have this?......would you¡¦..?COnFIneD
Being locked away in this place¡¦..cold dark sad place¡¦¡¦the trees growing hatred in their leaves¡¦..the roses turning into thorn bushes¡¦¡¦the grass turning to ash¡¦.. the hill sides fade away¡¦..the sound of laughing escapes but dissipates in my hands¡¦..the door in front of me laughing¡¦..confining me¡¦.holding me back from my lost child hood¡¦I growing farther and farther away from myself¡¦.my door black¡¦cold steel¡¦.bullet holes of escape¡¦blood from myself clawing¡¦.trying to leave this place¡¦¡¦¡¦confined¡¦..lost¡¦.this door still sits there¡¦.I have tried many times to break it down or to even crack it open to see myself¡¦¡¦the door keeps me here¡¦.confined¡¦.NUMB
Freezing in the spot of direction¡¦.confused in the hideous choices I have taken¡¦¡¦scared of what is to come¡¦..fear¡¦of losing it all¡¦..fear of being the one lost¡¦.malicious thoughts¡¦..heartbroken tragedies¡¦..hate driven lunatics¡¦.schitzophrenic psycho attack¡¦.numb¡¦.this does not make any sense nor does a lot of things I reveal¡¦..but this¡¦..a thing that comes once in a while when I may be happy¡¦..this is what it feels like to be me¡¦¡¦..DisturBED
I have grown over the years finding out when I was raised¡¦¡¦everything that I do now¡¦.was done by someone else¡¦..even talking¡¦.was done by someone else¡¦I have grown to hate this but yet I find it¡¦.hard to hate the one you love and cared for¡¦¡¦now since I have grown life is different¡¦.I¡¯m disturbed of making my own decisions¡¦¡¦.someone else did that for me¡¦.now I¡¯m here¡¦..I¡¯m disturbed¡¦..I may not reveal it to the naked eye¡¦..but deep down inside¡¦..I¡¯m screaming¡¦.I¡¯m crying¡¦.I¡¯m
doing all I can for appreciation¡¦to fit in¡¦.this may not be right but yet this is what it has come to be¡¦¡¦
